Photo by Andre Stringer
Velominati's The Rules have become gospel to the hardcore roadie. And while we agree with most of them, when it pertains to us ladies, we think they left out a few important points. Weigh in and tell us where you stand!
Rule #4: It’s all about the bike.
Addendum: If it is all about the bike, we should be totally satisfied riding airport loops around Westchester Parkway, day after day, as long as we are have a top-of-the-line frame with electronic shifting and carbon wheels. We would argue that it’s about so much more than just the bike. What about scenery, company, coffee stops, and the burger you eat afterwards?
Rule #7: Tan lines should be cultivated and kept razor sharp.
Addendum: We have 1 word. Bikini.
Rule #12: The correct number of bikes to own is
Addendum: We love bikes just as much as dudes but we'd also like to add kits into this equation. Just like shoes and handbags, a girl needs options when it comes to fashion.
Rule #28: Socks can be any color you like.
Addendum: Hell yes! But lets not forget nails. Same color rule applies!
Rule #36: Eyewear shall be cycling specific.
Addendum: Hell no! Fashion eyewear is totally acceptable but let's stick to those that are sporty in spirit. Ie: giant Jackie-O shades are a no-no. Wayfarers... rock em!
Rule #31: Spare tubes, multi-tools and repair kits should be stored in jersey pockets.
Addendum: Lets avoid the jersey bulge. Bike bags are totally and completely acceptable. Just keep them to a reasonable size and under your saddle. And while we are on the subject, bike bags and pockets are for essentials only and should not resemble your bottomless Mary Poppins-esque handbag.
Rule #61: Saddles should be smooth and hard.
Addendum: We can’t disagree with this one, but do have something to add. If you’re riding with a padded seat, ditch it and get a proper pair of bibs. With a good fit and a proper chamois you shouldn’t need extra padding on your saddle.
Rule #67: Do your time in the wind.
Addendum: This one applies to us as well. If the pace is too high, go ahead and take a shorter pull. But if you can hold it, don't pull the girl card. Take your turn in the wind and you'll be stronger for it.
Rule #71: Ignore other cyclists. The time for being competitive is not during your training rides.
Addendum: In general yes but if "that dude" has to pass you just because you are a girl, it is totally ok to ditch your training plan/riding partner/group and throw the hammer down to put him in his place. In fact, you should.
Rule #91: No food on rides under 4 hours.
Addendum: What? Why? Snacks are awesome and necessary. We eat to ride. We ride to eat. Period.
What they forgot:
Rule #96: Hair
Hair must be pulled back at all times. Acceptable hairstyles include buns, ponytails, or braids of any style. We know the beach-y glam look is "in" but tuck it back and out of your peripheral vision while riding.
Rule #97: Makeup
Make-up is not necessary, however if you can’t leave home without it, the only acceptable choices are one of the following: water-proof mascara or lip gloss. If your sunscreen is slightly tinted so it doesn’t leave you looking like a painted-faced mime, that’s okay too.
Rule #98: Undergarments
Addendum: Under absolutely no circumstances should underwear be worn with your cycling shorts. You want direct skin-to-lycra contact at all times in order to avoid chafing issues. On the top, however, undergarments should ALWAYS be worn. The last thing we need is for the entire peloton to be taken out because some guy couldn't hold his line while watching your sprint finish "bounce".